


Vampires Will Never Hurt You

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Sterek Week '18 [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Engaged Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Sterek Week 2018, Vampire Slayer(s), Vampires, sterekvampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 12:20:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16429289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Stiles comes home to find out that things aren't exactly the way he left them. The biggest change being his father, who is not only now a vampire himself, but also has an admirer.





	Vampires Will Never Hurt You

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Vampires Will Never Hurt You (Traducción)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17400473) by [lbp98l](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lbp98l/pseuds/lbp98l)



> For Day 3 of Sterek Week: Vampires  
> Title comes from the My Chemical Romance song of the same title.

Stiles has always joked around about there being vampires, but in spite of everything they’ve dealt with he never really thought for a second they could be real. He kind of wishes he would have taken it a little bit more seriously now. He’d certainly have a better idea as to how to handle the situation he’s suddenly faced with.

“I cannot believe this shit,” Stiles mutters, running a hand through his hair as he paces the length of the room and then back. “Vampires? Really? And of course of all the people to get mixed up with them it had to be you.”

Across the room his father sighs, “It’s not as if I enjoyed my little run in.”

“You’re lucky you made it out alive!” Stiles shouts.

“Well technically…” Derek starts, only to immediately close his mouth when Stiles stops his pacing to glare at him.

“Don’t you even start, Derek Hale,” Stiles says, pointing an accusing finger at his fiancé. “Where the hell were you when this was happening?”

“I was tied up,” Derek tells him.

“So what? You couldn’t help him because you were too busy?”

“No,” Derek drags the word out. “I was literally tied up. To a tree. With wolfsbane laced ropes.”

Stiles’ shoulders slump, “Of course you were. The two of you. I swear. Why do I let you go out by yourselves?”

“Because we’re grown men who can take care of ourselves,” his dad says.

“Apparently not since you got kidnapped by a vampire and are now one yourself!” Stiles shouts, throwing his hands up in the air.

It’s the first time he’s said the words out loud and he can’t stop the laugh that slips out. It’s all a little surreal, even for Beacon Hills.

“It’s not as if I asked to be turned into a vampire,” his dad mutters, crossing his arms across his chest. “That vampire was obsessed with me!”

“Still is,” Derek says, his voice holding a hint of amusement. “It kept rattling on about building an eternal love.”

Stiles remembers the creep they met in the market that started following them around and talking about how nice his dad’s skin was. His dad had uncomfortably turned down his advances, and Stiles had had to tell the dude off when he’d gone as far as to grab his dad’s arm. He’d thought that would be the end of it. Apparently not. Because of course the man is a vampire and kidnapped his dad when he was on patrol with Derek last night, and now his dad is a vampire.

Derek snorts from his spot on the couch, “We’ve got company.”

Stiles doesn’t get a chance to ask who it is before a voice sounds outside their house, “Oh my beloved. Night has fallen and it is time for us to be reunited once more. Tonight is the night we will consummate our bond and I will make you mine so we can be together for an eternity.”

“Shit,” the Sheriff mutters, backing towards the stairs. “Don’t invite him in.”

“My love,” the vampire calls from outside the door. “Aren’t you going to invite me in so I can show you how much I love you in the flesh?”

Stiles finds it all equally parts hilarious and horrifying. Leave it to his dad to get a vampire admirer. Stiles turns to his dad to see him watching the door with a look of horror, “I swear if I still had the ability to be sick I’d be rushing towards the bathroom right now.”

Stiles snorts, “And they say I’m the dramatic one.”

“You had to get it from somewhere,” Derek says.

Stiles elbows him in the ribs, “Rude. That’s your father in law you’re talking about.”

“We’re not married yet Stiles,” Derek says, though he’s smiling.

“Close enough,” Stiles grins, leaning closer to Derek so he can place a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Seriously?” his dad mutters from the stairs. “I just got turned into a vampire and the one responsible is at our door because he wants to _mate_ me, and this is what you two are doing?”

“You’re safe in here,” Stiles says, turning to look at his father. “It’s not as if he can get in without an invitation.” He turns his head to look at Derek. “He can’t, right? Like he’s not just going to come barging in here and…”

There’s a scream from outside and then the door is flying open. A blonde woman in impractical leather pants comes running into the house, holding what looks like a stake in her hand. Stiles runs forward, putting himself between the woman and his dad. She looks familiar, but Stiles can’t say why.

“Step out of the way, Stiles.” The woman says, looking from Stiles to his father.

“Like hell I will,” Stiles says, crossing his arms. “Not with you waving that stake around and looking at my dad like he’s next on your list of victims.”

“Because he is,” the woman says. “He’s a vampire.”

“Did you kill him?” His dad asks. “The one who turned me?”

“I did. He was too distracted with trying to paw at the door to get in here to notice. Now if you’d just…”

“Mom? What the hell are you doing?”

The woman’s eyes widen and then she’s turning to look at Liam, who is standing in the doorway with Scott.

_Ah, so that’s why she looks familiar._

“About time you got here,” Stiles says. “I called you for back up almost an hour ago.”

“We were taking care of the rest of them. Though they all suddenly disappeared for some reason.” Scott tells him, his brow furrowed as he takes in the scene in front of him. “What’s going on?”

“Apparently Liam’s mother is a vampire slayer,” Derek says, looking far too amused for the situation at hand. “And she’s here to slay John.”

“I’m glad to see you’re taking someone wanting to kill my dad so seriously,” Stiles says, rolling his eyes. He turns his attention back to the woman, trying to remember if she has the same name Liam does. “Mrs…”

“Geyer,” the woman says. “But you can call me Jenna.”

“Okay Jenna, surely there is a way to do this that doesn’t end in your murdering my father?”

Jenna looks around Stiles to where his father is still standing on the stairs, “You haven’t fed?”

“Only the blood Derek got me,” his dad says. “And I think that was…”

“It was animal blood,” Derek tells her. “We got it from Deaton. He also suggest blood bags but well…”

“I’m not going to take blood from people that might need it,” his dad says.

Jenna sighs, tossing the stake in her hand before putting it in her belt. “You can consider this a probationary period. If we can have werewolves running around this town, then surely we can survive with a vampire.”

“It’s going to be hard to explain why I can’t work during the day or go to meetings,” his dad sighs, sitting down on the stairs.

“About that,” Jenna says. “I might be able to help.”

“Help?” Stiles asks. “How?”

“I might know some people,” she shrugs. “Give me until morning. I’ll see what I can do. But you might have to call off if you’re working.”

“At least I’ll be alive to do it,” his dad says. “Well… as alive as I am right now. Which isn’t a whole lot.”

“You know you’re a lot calmer than I thought you’d be considering you’re now a vampire,” Stiles says, turning to look at him.

“He had his freak-out last night,” Derek tells him. “You’ll notice there’s a table and lamp missing.”

Stiles frowns and looks into the living room. Sure enough, there’s an empty space where the end table used to sit. “I never cared for that lamp.”

“Your mother bought it,” his father reminds him.

Stiles clears his throat, “Yes well, I love her. But she had shitty taste in lamps.”

“Not that this isn’t a thrilling discussion,” Derek says. “But we have a problem.”

“What?” Stiles asks, turning towards him. “What is it now?”

“Just, you know, the vampires Scott and Liam said had run off? They’re coming here.”

Stiles groans, “Seriously? They want a fight?”

Scott tilts his head, then looks towards the Sheriff in confusion, “Well no… not exactly.”

“Why are you looking at me?” the Sheriff asks.

“Because they want you,” Liam says.

“Want me? For what?”

“Apparently since the head vamp had chosen you for his mate that makes you their leader,” Scott says, his lips pulling down into a pout. “Does my mom know you were seeing someone?”

The Sheriff throws his hands up, “I’m not! The guy was obsessed with me, but we never... All he did was turn me!”

“Apparently that was enough,” Jenna sighs. “At least we know they can’t get in unless Stiles invites them.”

“Stiles?”

“Yes, you’re no longer human, John. So the ownership of the house goes to your next of kin,” Jenna tells him.

“Well that is how I had it in my will anyway so I guess I can understand that,” his dad says. “Except I couldn’t get in after I got turned so I actually had to transfer ownership to Derek. Thank god for Lydia.”

“You have a will?” Stiles asks, choosing not to comment on the Derek thing. He shakes his head. “You know what? Never mind. Of course you have a will. We live in Beacon Hills.” He turns to Derek. “Do you have a will?”

“Is now really the time to ask me that?” Derek asks him, his eyes trained on the door. He smiles and looks at the Sheriff. “They’re here.”

“You all look far too amused by that,” the Sheriff mutters. “Are we forgetting they’re after me?”

“Dear Stilinski,” a feminine voice calls from outside. “It is I, daughter to Barnabas the Great.”

Stiles snorts, “Barnabas? That was his name? What was he? Purple? Did he sing songs about love and friendship?”

There’s a hiss from outside before the voice speaks again, “How dare you speak ill of Barnabas! He was respected by all that knew him.”

“Apparently not all,” Stiles mutters. “Considering he’s now a pile of ash.”

There are more hisses from outside before a second, deeper voice speaks. “If you’re not careful little human, you will join him.”

“He will not,” the Sheriff says, anger in his voice as he comes down the stairs. He moves towards the door and Stiles stumbles after him.

“Yo, Dad. In case you missed it, we’re trying to keep them out.”

“Even with the door open they still can’t come in,” his dad says, turning to Jenna for confirmation. “Right?”

Jenna nods, “Right. Not unless Derek or Stiles let them in.”

“Okay,” the Sheriff says, taking a deep breath. “Then stay back. All of you. We’re ending this.”

“Dad. What…?”

His father opens the door, and Derek pushes Stiles back with an arm across his chest when Stiles starts to go forward, “Let him handle it.”

“Alright you lot,” the Sheriff says, putting his hands on his hips and glaring out at the vampires gathered on the lawn. “This nonsense ends right now. There will be no killing or fighting. And I will not be coming with you. I’m staying here. And you all are leaving.”

“But you’re our leader,” the female from before speaks. “You were chosen.”

“And I didn’t ask for it, or want it,” his father says. “I’m sorry for that. But that’s just the way it is. Surely, there is someone in your ranks who can take over and you can go in peace.”

Stiles hates that he can’t see their expressions. If he could, he’d be able to gauge how this was going to go rather than sitting here waiting.

“You can appoint one,” the female says finally. “If that is your wish.”

“John you need to think seriously on this,” Jenna tells him. “You’re about to give someone the reigns of a vampire coven.”

“I am aware of that Jenna,” John says, glancing in her direction. “As you’re well aware, this isn’t my first rodeo.”

“I know, Sheriff. But that still doesn’t mean…”

“Wait,” Stiles says, looking between the two in confusion. “If you two know each other, why were you trying to kill him?”

“It was a test, really.” Jenna says. “I’ve been aware of the supernatural for some time, enough to know there are good and bad aspects of it. And when it’s living in my own home,” she looks at Liam who makes a noise of surprise. Rolling her eyes she turns her gaze to Stiles, “I wasn’t here to kill your father, more to see how he’d behave when threatened. Not all vampires are as calm as he is when they’re first turned.”

“Not all of them have been exposed to the supernatural beforehand either,” Derek points out.

“So if he would have attacked you…” Stiles says.

“I would have locked him up someplace until he’d calmed down and then we would have figured it out,” Jenna shrugs. “I know he’s not evil. And if I was really worried I would have driven a stake into those vampires’ hearts rather than leaving them hanging out on your front lawn.”

“But you killed Barnabas,” Liam says.

“He has killed before,” Jenna tells him. “Even here. He’s the one you were looking for in the Preserve. I don’t think his coven knows the full extent of it. I know he was preaching peace and love and animal blood, but in reality he wasn’t following that himself.”

“Well he was clearly demented,” Stiles says. “Especially given his taste in mates.”

His dad shoots a glare in his direction before turning back to the vampires still gathered in the yard, “Know that this position comes with a lot of responsibility, and I am not deciding lightly. I need someone who will go in peace, and stick to the values your former leader could not abide himself. That means no killing or feeding on humans.”

“We hear you,” the same female voice says. “I loved my father, but his ways were not ones we as a coven should follow.”

“You seem to speak already for your coven and have a level head,” his father says. “Which is why I’m choosing you to lead.”

There’s silence for a moment before the woman speaks again, “It is an honor you have bestowed on me, Sir John. My father was wise in his choice for mate. We will leave you in peace.”

“What’s happening?” Stiles asks, trying to move around Derek. “Are they really leaving?”

His father sighs and shuts the door. He leans against it and runs a hand through his hair, letting out a disbelieving laugh. “I can’t believe that worked. They really have left. Right? They’re going?”

Jenna moves to the window and peers out, “They are leaving. I’ll still check later to make sure they’ve left town.”

“Did we really send a coven of vampires out into the world?” Stiles asks.

“It’s no different than sending out werewolves,” Jenna points out. “We all have good and bad in us, Stiles. You should know that more than anyone.”

Stiles nods, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. And plus, there’s a vampire in the family now. Which is not anything I ever thought I’d say.”

“Well get used to it kid,” his dad says, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “You’re stuck with me now. Which means no more criticizing my diet.”

Derek and Stiles share a look, Stiles’ lips twitching up into a smile, “Should we tell him?”

“It’s only right he knows,” Derek says, a smile of his own forming on his lips.

“You’re right,” Stiles nods. “But it might be too much for him.”

“What are you two even talking about?” the Sheriff asks.

“Your diet,” Stiles tells him, turning to him with a grin. “You’re a vampire, Dad.”

“I’m aware.”

“I don’t think vampires eat burgers and fries.”

“You mean… never again?”

“Nope,” Stiles says, popping the p. “You’re all burgered out.”

“If I would have known I would have savored my last one more,” his dad says. “I can’t believe this.”

“I can’t believe of all the things that come with being a vampire, the one you can’t handle is not being able to eat burgers.”

“Can I date?” his dad asks, turning to Jenna. “Is that safe?”

Jenna shrugs, “As long as you don’t bite them, kill them, and then bury them, you should be fine.”

“Please don’t kill my Mom,” Scott says. “I like having her around.”

“You’d still have her,” Stiles points out. “She’d just be a vampire.”

“And even more terrifying,” Scott says.

“I’m going to go talk to my contacts,” Jenna tells the Sheriff. “I should hear something tonight, and I’ll let you know.”

His dad nods, “Thank you, Jenna.”

Jenna leaves, followed by Scott and Liam. Stiles has no doubt Liam is going to be in for a long talk. Then it’s just Stiles, Derek, and his dad left standing there in the living room. Stiles sighs and leans back against Derek, “What a day.”

Derek noses into his hair, “If you’re tired you should get some sleep.”

“I can’t leave,” Stiles says. “At least not tonight. I need to know they’re gone.”

“Your room is still made up,” his father tells him. “You know that. The two of you go get some rest. I’ll be fine.”

Stiles heads towards the stairs, stopping to pull his Dad in for a tight hug, “I’m glad you’re alright.”

His dad squeezes his neck and gives him a small smile when he pulls back, “I am. Really. You don’t have to worry about me, kid. I’m fine.”

“I’m always going to worry about you,” Stiles tells him. “Just like I know you’re always going to worry about me.”

His dad nods, and moves back so that Stiles can get past him to the stairs. Derek follows behind him, pacing a comforting hand on his back. When they reach the top his dad calls up to them, “Just remember I don’t sleep now! So no funny business!”

Stiles groans and rests his head on the doorframe, “I can’t believe this.”

Derek chuckles, and grabs Stiles’ hand, leading him into the bedroom. Stiles groans again when Derek starts undressing until he’s just in his boxers, “Seriously? Are you trying to kill me?”

Derek shrugs and moves to the bed, laying down on the side closest to the door like he always does, “You know I get hot when I sleep.”

“You’re hot all the time,” Stiles mutters. He kicks off his shoes and then his socks and jeans before joining Derek on the bed. When Derek puts an arm around his waist and pulls him close, Stiles sighs happily, relaxing against him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Stiles,” Derek says, placing a kiss to the top of his head. “Now sleep.”

Stiles doesn’t have it in him to argue. He knows they’re going to have a lot to deal with tomorrow, with his dad being a new vampire and everything. But for now he lets himself drift, feeling safe and content in Derek’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Note: I didn't use any specific vampire lore and just pulled from various places. I'm not claiming to be a vampire expert. I just wanted to have a little fun.


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